I haven’t posted for a while I’ve had a lot on and also with my operation coming up I’ve had a lot on my mind but I’m sat here in bed writing this as I feel sometimes it’s important to vent and express oneself. 

Over the years I’ve lost many friends and friendships I thought were going to be forever. But it doesn’t work like that.  

1. People change. People move on and people live different lives. Sometimes you can be so close to someone and over time the visits become less frequent until it’s a measly text one a month just to check in. How does this happen? Life happens. 

2. Falling outs and differences of opinions. I’m truthful. I’m brutally truthful. I have no filter. It’s my pro and my con. I’m not a two faced bitch. I am just a bitch. If I don’t like you, you will know. I don’t pretend. I can’t. Life is too short to waste time on people you don’t really like. 

3. Weak woman clings to strong woman. I find in the past I’ve formed friendships with women that are weak. That let their boyfriends abuse them mentally and physically and I try and help. Some times it works out they break free then the friendship fails cause well they don’t need me anymore or sometimes they stay with the asshole and I say enough is enough after the 100000000 time of helping them leave. It gets to a point where it impacts you and your family life and then you have to say enough is enough. 

4. Jealous bitches. With my upcoming surgery I get the odd comments like… Oh no don’t go too big with your breasts and you don’t need a tummy tuck really… Why’s that then? To make you feel better about yourself if I’m stuck with my cockerspainel tits and Freddie Krueger scarred jelly belly skin. Be happy for me. It’s my body. Support me. The only persons opinion that really matters here is my husbands. So don’t get on your high horse and tell me why you think I need. 

Sometimes I lay here at night and think of all the people I used to speak to. Some I miss, some I really don’t. Sometimes I just wished people made as much effort as I do. 

I think my problem is i care too much at times and other times I come across as not caring at all. 

Friendships. They can be difficult things but without them how could we exist.