Today I deactivated my Facebook.i don’t know how long for but I needed a break. I need to learn to reconnect with the real world again, to form real friendships not cyber friendships. To disconnect from the people who are only my friend on there to judge me or be nosy about my life. 

I’ve taken a step forward now to connect properly with people and hopefully make some new better quality friendships. People I can actually depend on rather than a quick comment on a photo once in a blue moon. 

Yesterday was my birthday I had a fantastic day and i was spoilt by my husband the person who truly cares more than anyone for me. 

He’s a good man. I was treated to an amazing massage called the good hour at Lush spa in Poole. It really was incredible. He also bought me breakfast and dinner and lots of lovely gifts 

    This week had been really hard for me. I felt like everything had gone wrong. 
I was told by the surgeon I might need an uplift for my boobs and I need some slight revisions on my tummy. 

Then I decided to cut out two people who I thought were going to be part of my life forever. One being someone who was incredibly close to me who I really trusted but now the trust has truly gone and I can’t see a way forward with her. The other was a friend I’ve had a long time friendship with but realised it wasn’t worth the effort anymore as I was no longer a priority in their life. 

Then to top it off some lady and I reversed into each other and she decided to be a complete cow and call me common as muck and said I probably didn’t have insurance look at the state of me! I was in my workout gear as I’d just come from the gym. Made me feel really low. 

Also we’ve moved into a beautiful home but sadly the school we wanted to get the little one into hasn’t got enough spaces so I have to keep going to the old place I hate. 

But things turn around… 

Saw the surgeon yesterday and we have decided that I will go larger! Instead of an uplift with scars. A much better result for me. 

My car has no damage to it from the crash only my feelings from that woman. 

My dog (puppy) who has been a nightmare recently went to puppy class last night and performed amazingly. Giving us real hope that this is just a phase and he will soon be the pup we want him to be. 

We finally moved into a really lovely area and great house with enough space for us all and although for the meanwhile I have to drop her back to the old playschool it’s not forever as I’ve applied for the first school here in September. So fingers crossed. 

I realised that I don’t need lots of people in my life to make me feel loved. Just my husband and girls and a handful of real friends. 

I have lots of free time to work on myself and my body now and a lot of space at home to workout so I will be workin hard towards achieving the goals I need to this year… All whilst learning to relax a little and not be my own worse enemy. I’ve lost ten stone and had two children.. I’m never going to be a model. That’s okay. It’s okay to be a bit wobbly and saggy. It’s normal. Women in the magazines aren’t normal. 

So I already have these things and I’m learning to take life a little slower and concentrate on myself and development for a while. I need to learn to love myself a little physical and mental. 

Love to you all. ❤️